1. You forget you are an animal.
We tend to think we are giant heads on sticks and that we can think our way into the future we desire.
So not happening.
For just one example, daily stress shuts down your will power and suddenly it’s just too scary to join the dating site or attempt the new dance class. It feels like someone is asking you to address Congress naked.
Ask what does my animal self need to feel safe? What does my body need to help me thrive right now?
2. You poo-poo the power of small steps & wait for the silver bullet, the golden elixir, THE one perfect solution.
Maybe you’re like Laura Toller Gardner, a writer and powerhouse branding executive, who came to The Life Navigation Course last winter believing “go big or go home” was the only way.
“I can still see the moment of my aha; it was during class. I even remember what I was wearing. I’d already learned so much in the course, I wasn’t expecting more, and then I had one of those gentle aha’s that builds and builds and builds and then springs out with this huge release. Right out the front of my chest. I got it! The promise of destiny is determined by small choices. Small steps work!
The story of my life until then had been that my executive career was just until my career as author took over. One would give way to the other. Now I see that I am called to do both. By taking small, intentional steps I changed my story of waiting for that other life. I’m living it now.”
Write down one thing you want more of – more energy, to write a novel, to get a better paying job, to dance every day. Then choose one very tiny step toward that desire – so tiny it’s laughable – and decide exactly when you will do it tomorrow. Open a document and write one sentence. Select a song you love.
3. You quietly mutter to yourself when presented with a new idea, “I already know that.”
Bonus points if you add, “Do you know how long I’ve been _____ ?!!” This inner conversation gets in my own way A LOT!
I loved talking to Sarah about how she believed this before taking The Life Navigation Course. “I’m a physician. I meditate. I really do this stuff. And I have three copies of The Life Organizer in my house. I have used the book for years and I gave a copy to all my sisters, so what more could the course teach me? Turns out a lot. The paradox of simultaneously keeping clear boundaries and still keeping my heart open. That an introvert can belong and be deeply supported in community. A deeper relationship to desire. After the course, I was able to explore new options in my workplace and I was able to take action related to my desires. I can choose to make changes not simply to escape what is not working but rather to move forward toward something different and new that is calling to me.”
For Sarah, opening to learning has birthed an idea for a book and the start of the next chapter of her life.
“I don’t know what I don’t know, so I will be curious earlier.”
4. You give 110% and think there will something left over for the next day.
Pushing yourself over the edge, past empty, instead of stopping when you still have some energy, some brain power, something for yourself left in reserve? It’s the single biggest reason – after equal economic choices and equal pay – women don’t build a life they cherish. If you’ve lost your desire in life, if you can’t figure out what you want next, or if you can’t stay in sustained action if you know, the first thing I would ask you is, “Are you rested?”
Stop with at least 10% in reserve. Changes everything.
5. Going it alone.
Everything is easier when you have support. Truth.
- Calm and cuddle your animal self to create a life you love.
- Remember the promise of destiny is determined by small choices.
- Be curious earlier.
- Stop with 10% or more in reserve.
Thanks for reading!
Originally published at JenniferLouden.com.