I often use terms in my work that have evolved over many years and I often neglect to define them. In honor of my many new readers (welcome!) and in preparation for my upcoming Life Navigation Course, I hope you find this short series of “Jen’s lexicon” or “What in the heck is she talking about?” useful.
Con·di·tion [kuhn-dish-uhn] noun: a state of being.
Enoughness [ih-nuhf-ness] adjective: sufficient to satisfy a factually stated desire; a satisfactory amount.
What is enough? What a tantalizing question. Can you feel it in your body, maybe around your belly button or your heart? The draw of inquiring: what is enough for me?
“For me” is a crucial addition. Because, of course, there is no one or final answer to the question, “What is enough?” but rather an ongoing relationship between you and your desires. It is in the asking of what will satisfy you, and then the declaring, “This will be enough,” that you experience satisfaction.
And when you don’t ask and don’t declare? There lies the aching void and often the lost agency to build the life, and the world, you want.
Enoughness is a daily declaration of what you want and the action you will take to create it.
It is also about learning to train the Hounds of More, More, More who bay:
“Improve yourself! Make more money! Be more awesome! Rise to the top! More, more, mooooooooorrrrreeeee!”
The Hounds of More yip at you until you become a woman who completely forgets it is up to her, and only her, to declare what is enough.
The hounds also love to mess with your routine, yammering:
“Meditate first thing in the morning! No, I meant start with yoga! No, you should go to the gym! But it’s summer so walk in nature! No, I meant writing, working on your side gig/sketching!”
Notice how the Hounds of More use a lot of !!! points? They are always on the search for perfect. They are never interested in enough. Their baying is exhausting and distracting and, quite frankly, boring because it keeps us from diving deeply into anything. The Hounds keep you from taking action.
Conditions of Enoughness quiet the Hounds and sustain you in consistent, mindful action.
In a nutshell, COE’s are using four simple steps to create a boundary or container around anything in your life (and I mean anything – parenting, finding a partner, writing a book, doing the yard work) that you want to shape and build.
The four steps are:
1. Name what is enough in simple facts.
What you will actually do next. Measurable. Factual, no aspirations. “I will write new material on my project. I will start and finish an exercise video. I will write one section of my Match.com profile.”
2. Include a time element.
For how long…
Name a boundary so you know when you are finished, not the big finish, but each step. “I will write new material for 30 minutes.” “I will write one section of my Match.com profile by Friday at 5 pm.”
3. Ensure they’re dependent on ONLY YOU on an AVERAGE day. Not a superhuman day.
The quickest way to experience enoughness? Stop making an aspirational to-do list that you never complete. Stop expecting a day in which you are someone you aren’t. Start planning for average, a day in which you have to take the car in because it has a flat, a day in which you sleep in and forget to meditate, a day in which you get brain fuzzed at 3 pm: a day of reality.
4. Declare you are satisfied when your conditions are met—even if you don’t feel satisfied.
Everybody likes to skip this step. They feel stupid, especially saying it out loud (super powerful). But this is where we stop to notice, and very briefly celebrate, what we did. Research shows this is what allows us to build and sustain our momentum. So don’t skip it.
I have much more to say about enoughness. It’s a big theme of my work and a central practice in the Life Navigation course. Questions? Sign up for the Life Navigation Primer starting September 10th and join me for a live Q &A call + get useful bonuses on how to get started choosing the life you want.
Originally published at JenniferLouden.com.
Editor’s Note: Need a little help building your truer life? Jen is offering her incredible Mastermind Program through Eusophi, and it might be just what you’re looking for.